One moment I’m free soaring,
Beyond the reach of my grounded fears and short comings.
Clouds of possibilities glide serenely into my reach,
Challenging me to dance about them with confident wings.
This is what it means to be alive and free,
The toil is over now life can begin.
But quick as a raptor with talons bare,
I find myself cut short.
Hope dies within a sudden chaotic fall.
And I watch as wing meets ground,
Dashing the fragile creature this is my heart and mind.
Within my grasp is held the string,
Frayed limp and useless.
Now I find my feet planted firmly in regret,
I pick up the pieces of my dreams wondering how I can begin again.
Young do I feel in this wide open world.
What storms come my way, I bravely stand, stick sword in hand.
These storms cannot tarnish my sleeves of courage.
A heart of brazen gold do I best within my small chest.
I am untouchable, I scream out to the darkening clouds.
Good bye,” I whisper as the glass doors shut behind me. A vacuum slowly envelopes all my insides as my feet mechanically walk to the car. I can feel the tears forming in their ducts. Sense the flood of emotion brimming just beneath the surface.
Walls subconsciously constructed began to crack with the weight of experiences.
All the memories.
All the people.
It all ended with those glass doors hissing shut.
I stop, not wanting to look back and fearing to walk forward.
For that moment, waiting motionless in the dark parking lot I was empty inside.
And I wish I could stop feeling.
Here we sit upon this fence,
Waiting for it to all make sense.
Some have since picked a side,
Slipping down that treacherous slide.
Wait will we the chosen free,
For death to choose our lives to be.
Blink upon a gliding cloud,
With Spring sunlight filtering between.
Darkness flees this growing world, running with frozen feet.
Now I see a world reborn, blazing forth with life so green.
Blink my eyes and feel the warmth, let my soul roam blissful and free.
Once more we danced round fires so deep,
Laying down our spells to reap.
With scuffled claws and lean fresh meat,
Our words you’ll never soon repeat.
As a moon so gilding the sky,
Do I drift upon a dream’s tide.
This boat upon a universe reflected,
Glides serene beneath this cosmic expanse.
I’m here, where the sidewalk ends.
Only broken stones and tossing weeds before my feet.
We stand together, waiting.
For our train to come?
But we were going somewhere.
We had something to do.
Expectations are wanting to be met.
Please, the road can’t end here in a pile of rubble.
I need to go on.
But we wait, where the sidewalk ends.
Green upon our lips,
Grow delicate upon uplifted brows.
Comfort me in the warmth of your texture,
As shoots spring forth.
Hold one another beneath the sun,
And laugh out to bird song.
Free are we,
As the tendrils of Spring.
I stepped quickly back towards the door, just noticing the room’s single occupant. He stared back with red rimmed eyes. A tissue clutched in one hand.
I shouldn’t be here, in this place of mourning. He shouldn’t have to be disturbed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s okay he says, voice gruff with emotion, “ I was leaving anyway.”
He’s young, about my age. Face line with worry and fatigue.
I feel riveted to the spot, unable to leave or stay.
He stands up awkwardly and moves towards the door walking with feet of led.
I hold the door open as he passes. He nods as fresh tears run down his face, and I almost taste his sadness.
I want to speak, I want to reach out. But all I can do is stay.