Of A Healer: Julie

She’s on her way out, the docs just told us,” she said, tears filling her eyes.

I reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder, sharing the look, sharing the fear.

“I-, I don’t know how long she’s going to be with us, but I know she would appreciate a visit from you,” she said with a sniff and knowing smile, “you are Julie’s favorite.”

I nodded and gave her what I hoped was a strong smile.

“You both have been my favorite patients to care for,” I said with a pause, “Well not you, you’re her sister.”

She chuckled, a rich and warm sound, as we stood in the bustling hallway.

Behind us elevators dinged open on different floors, hospital staff talking to one another, and family members passing by. Behind us, framed in a wide bank of windows, the sun was setting over the city, catching the summer pollution and igniting the sky. Milliseconds passed by, but they might have well been years.

“I’ll go visit, don’t worry,” I whispered as we pulled each other in a tight embrace.

“She’ll want to hear you,” she breathed in my ear.

We parted, knowing that we would never see one another again. Tears fell from her face onto the ground. And all I could do was nod my head, so I did.

I walked away.

Hitting the entrance button to the Intensive Care Unit I walked quietly down the hall, glancing briefly into each room I passed. Seeing a familiar name on the outside of a room I paused to take a breath.

Inside machinery whirred and lights blinked on and off. Julie lay on the hospital bed, a small form almost engulfed in blankets and pillows. Her eyes were closed. Dark lashes laid on iridescent skin. Purple shadows law below each closed lid and there was a hollowness to her face.

A breathing tube traveled from the bulky ventilator machine down into her mouth, giving a mechanical movement to Julie’s chest. She was beautiful, broken, yet beautiful.

I stepped close to her bedside, taking hold of a hand that was warm to the touch. They law across her stomach, as if she were expecting a visitor any minute, as if she were waiting for me.

“Julie,” I said, placing my head close to her ear, “I’m here.”

There was no motion in her body, except for the rhythmic fall of her chest. I looked at her face. Only days before had there been a wide smile on her lips and a joke waiting to spring up. She had been full of zeal.

“Spit and vinegar,” is what she would have said. But now she was here, waiting.

“I just came by to tell you hi,” I paused, trying to control the rising emotions, “and I wanted to tell you something. You should know I’m a big baby when it comes to these things, saying good bye.”

I sniffed, feeling tears trickle down my face, “I always cry, no matter what.”

My tears fell down onto her blanket, wetting the fabric.

“I just want you to know that you are incredible. You’ve left an impression on me and I can’t thank you enough.”

I ran a hand across my nose and then looked for a tissue. Finding one I grabbed it and pulled my emotions under control.

“Julie, thank you for letting me care for you,” I said, giving her forehead a gentle kiss, “good bye, my friend.”

-M.E. InkOwl

Of A Healer: From The Outside

Sunlight blazed into existence as I stepped from the carefully controlled climate of the hospital. It was mid July and the days were hitting mid 90’s.

“See you next week,” someone called a coworker as they walked towards a waiting shuttle.

I waved and walked down the sloping lawn towards my won bus stop beyond the main parking structure. Behind me my hospital stood, perched upon the edge of a mountain. Blue-green glass windows gleamed in the late afternoon sun.

Glad I don’t have to come back to you for a few more days” I thought with a smile. The sun felt so good on my skin, warming the ache of a day spent in a cold, sterile environment.

I paused for a moment, taking in the main hospital, and beyond it my sprawling city. It was a beautiful moment.

Taking a turn past the emergency department, I found myself walking down the ambulance ramp that lead straight to the ER. My eye naturally began to follow the staggered windows of the medical ICU unit on the second floor.

It was almost too hard to look at the windows as they shifted the suns rays into my face. Temporarily blinded I stopped and blinked for a few moments.

A swift movement caught my eye and I started forward, suddenly curious. There were forms moving by a shadowed window.

Me being on the ambulance ramp I found myself at eye level with the window, which turned out to be another ICU room.

As I watched the movement in the room I found myself momentarily dumbfounded. There before me was a scene I’ll not soon forget.

A team of four nurses stood over an occupied bed. One of the four knelt on top of the bed, rhythmically pushing on the patient’s chest. Eyes widening I watched as someone moves a crash cart into view, and then a third person placed a rebreather mask over the patient’s face.

“Their coding him,” I said to no one but myself. I was exhausted from the day but enraptured watched the familiar dance of CPR play out before my eyes.

My body immediately went into a fight or flight response as I felt my heart rate climb, thundering in my ears. The sun lost its shine for those moments I stood transfixed, staring out at the four people stepping between life and death.

I was there, feeling the patient’s chest move under my hands, feeling ribs pop and chest recoil under my hands.

Yet I wasn’t there, standing beyond the glass, a stranger separated by what seemed an entire world.

Emotions moved deep within my body as I watched nurses switch out. I felt their fatigue, their anxiety, and stress.

But then a distant honk up the ramp reminded me of where I was and the spell was broken.

Glancing back at the I noticed the curtain was pulled shut.

I shook my head and continued following the familiar steps towards home.

-M.E. InkOwl

Slowing Down

For all you who are following this blog, The Ink Owl will be slowing down its posts for this next year. I’m planning on doing four posts a month so that I can focus on larger writing projects that need my attention.

I’m excited to briefly mention that I was able to pitch a story that has caught the eye of a potential publisher! Now I need to devote as much time and attention to this story as I possibly can.

So forgive the absence and please continue to follow, at a slower pace. As always you can check out more of my writing on GoDogGoCafe. I look forward to one day soon share this exciting new experience!

Thank you all for your comments and support! This blog has become quite a special place because of your encouragement.

Now to put my pen to paper!

-M.E. InkOwl

March On The Ink Owl

Hello and welcome to March in the InkOwl.

This month I will be focusing my posts on selected excerpts from my personal experience as a Healthcare Assistant in a hospital setting.

I am excited and nervous to share these experiences as some come with a lot of emotions attached. There are some tender memories and some traumatizing events I’ll be sharing, so forgive me for any strong language or graphic episodes that are shared.

I’d like for this to be an opportunity to share the unique perspective I have with healthcare and also show a snippet of what experiences we healthcare workers have in this setting. So prepare yourself for a interesting month.

-M.E. InkOwl

Self-love: Love, A Process

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
― Brené Brown

Brené Brown holds a masters of social work and is a research professor for the University of Huston. For more than fifteen years she has been studying topics such as courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. You can learn more about Brené Brown by visiting her website here. Here are links to more of her published works on Amazon.com:

Self-Love: Wolves Inside My Head


You’ll never finish this, you do realize this?

Why are you even trying?

There’s no way you’ll ever change yourself.

You’re worthless,


You’re broken.

I am not.

You’re a disgusting mess, an embarrassment.

I am loved.

Why do you still exist?

I am cared for.

I have worth beyond the darkness inside of me.

Who are you to tell me who I am?

I am strong.

I am loving.

I am kind.

I am whole.

I am more than you’ll ever know or be.

-M.E. InkOwl

Self-Love: Truth and Courage

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
― Brené Brown

Brene Brown holds a masters of social work and is a research professor for the University of Huston. For more than fifteen years she has been studying topics such as courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. You can learn more about Brene Brown by visiting her website here. Here are links to more of her published works on Amazon.com:

The Black Cat Blue Sea Award


I am overjoyed to celebrate yet another award for The Ink Owl. Invisible-No-More has been kind enough to nominate this blog! This award is primarily used to highlight those writers and bloggers who write regardless of how many readers they have, that write for anyone and everyone, and that write and make an impact on others. I am so very flattered to be nominated for this award!


  • anybody nominated can nominate up to eight other bloggers
  • the nominee answers three questions posed by the nominator
  • the questions you ask while nominating can be any three questions


Where do you look for inspirations for your blog posts?

I take a lot of inspiration in from my the everyday experiences in my life. Especially those experiences that involve getting out into the natural world (which isn’t as often as I would like). The stories just come up out of nowhere when I’m out walking with my kids by the city pond and bird refuge, or on top of a mountain, or just walking around the neighborhood.

How has your blog changed / evolved over time? Was the change in line with your expectation?

I started my blog out to help me move past a very difficult time in my life and now it’s turned into a place for me to hone and practice my writing skills, as well as make a place for me and my writing to be found in this vast world. When I started blogging I had no idea what was going to happen, so I think through happenstance this is where my blog went and I am very happy with it.

What would you like to be doing in the future? Are you still blogging?

I would love to be publishing my first novel sometime in the near future. And for the time being I will keep the blog up and running.


1. Silent Hour

2. Sailor Poet

3. Stevie Turner

4. Fearless In Jesus Christ

5. The Lonely Author

My Questions

  1. What started you on the path to writing?
  2. Where do you get your everyday inspiration?
  3. What does writing mean to you?

Please do not feel obligated to fill out your own award, this is a nomination that is me giving you a nod for your quality of work!

Liebster Award 2018


I am pleased to announce that The Ink Owl has been awarded the Liebster Award for discovering new blogs! Ida Auclond was kind enough to nominate my blog and I couldn’t be more excited. Go check out her blog for beautiful and uplifting stories focused around life, mental health, and self-compassion. Thank you Ida!


  • Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you, linking to their blog. Include the award graphic.
  • Answer the questions provided.
  • Make a new set of 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
  • Nominate 5-10 recently followed bloggers and share your post with them so they see it.


If you had to name one song summing up your life over the last few years, what song would that be?

-I would have to say: “A Million Dreams” from The Greatest Showman, to a ‘T’.

If you had to describe yourself in a single word, what would it be?


If you could magically acquire one talent or personality trait, what would it be?

-To be introverted, it’s something that I’m trying to work more on being because it’s so different from who I am. It would be an interesting and eye opening experience to be able to step back from the social scenes of life and just observe.

If you had no obligations (family, money, etc.), what would you spend your life doing?

-Write! and while were on this subject, can I have a cabin in the woods to write in?

If you had to use a piece of fiction (book, movie, video game, etc.) to describe your goals, what would it be?

-“Okay For Now” by Gary Schmidt, read it, just read it.

If you could have anybody, real or fictional, help you reach your goals who would you choose and why?

-Danny Kay or Terry Pratchett. I could always use more of their kind of humor, understanding of the world, and outlook on life.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

-The ability to heal anyone I touched. My vocation is in a cancer hospital. Recently I’ve been surrounded by a lot of dying people. I’ve held a lot of mourning family members, and I’ve shed a lot of tears with all of them. It would be nice to ease the pain, and allow for families to have more time together.

If you could live anywhere, real or fictional, where would it be?

-The Shire, I close my eyes and day dream about living at the end of a row of hobbit holes, with my own round yellow door and garden on the roof. That or Basin Idaho. It’s amazing and a complete backwater-boonies experience. It’s a place to relax the mind and rejuvenate the soul.

If you could change one piece of fiction’s ending, what would it be and how would you change it?

-“The Shepard’s Crown” by Sir Terry Pratchett, I wouldn’t change any of the existing ending, but I would write in Sir Pratchett himself to continue the narration of his astonishing and wholly satisfying Disc World series. If only to make him immortal so the stories would never end. I’ll never forget finishing the Audio-book of Shepard’s Crown and realizing that would be the last new book I’d ever read from him again. I have to admit I cried. It was horrendously awkward and there were a few people that just kind of stared as they walked by. But it was such a moving and bitter moment, almost as if a close friend had passed and I would never be able to have our conversations again, just the memories.

If you could have a device to do any one thing in your place, what would it do?

-The Nest, because my living room is always baking and the kid’s bedrooms are always ice cold in the winter. Always.

Nominations (In no certain order)

1. Lori Writes The World

2. Earth to Ash

3. Aurora Phoenix

4. Darkness Of His Dreams

5. The Backyard Poet

6. Ronel The Mythmaker

7. Brave And Reckless

8. Wallie’s Wentletrap

9. Poems and Paragraphs

My Questions

1. What time of day is ideal for you to write?

2. What things inspire you to write?

3. How long have you been writing for?

4. What kind of education do you have?

5. What’s the purpose of your blog?

6. Favorite genre to write in? (You can list multiple ones)

7. You’ve been given a free two month vacation in an Italian Villa in Tuscany to write, what projects do you take? (Yes it’s all inclusive all you have to bring are clothes and writing materials.)

8. What do you struggle with when it comes to writing?

9. What hurtles have you had to overcome to be where you are with your writing today? (You can be as vague or detailed as you’d like.)

10. Favorite piece (or pieces) of literature?

Thank you all for the reads, likes, and comments. I am so happy to celebrate this award! For those that do not participate in these nominations, do not feel obligated to participate! Just understand that this is me letting you know you are fantastic writers!

-M.E. InkOwl

Self-love: Authenticity

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
― Brené Brown

Brené Brown holds a masters of social work and is a research professor for the University of Huston. For more than fifteen years she has been studying topics such as courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. You can learn more about Brené Brown by visiting her website here. Here are links to more of her published works on Amazon.com: